Friday, March 9, 2007

Incomplete Pass

Well, it seems as if the reports claiming Tom Brady impregnated Gisele Bundchen are false.

The $30 million catwalker’s father as well as her sister, Raquel, told the media that the Brady baby buzz was bogus - Gisele is not pregnant with No. 12’s No. 2. (Last month, Tom’s ex, Bridget Moynahan, announced she is carrying the first heir to the Brady throne.)

“It is not true,” G.’s papa, Valdir, told O Dia gossip columnist Sabrina Grimberg. “I speak with Gisele every day and she would have told me.”

What a shame. Tom Brady was well on his way to becoming football's version of Shawn Kemp.

How much do you wanna bet that she really is pregnant and the family is trying to keep it under wraps? I've got $10 that says there will be an exceptionally good-looking baby being born around November or December. Any takers?

Thursday, March 8, 2007

Somebody Get Tom Brady Some Condoms

Who's next?

If Tom Brady's dick gets within 10 feet of you, chances are you're going to get pregnant. It seems the Patriots quaterback has knocked-up his second hot girl in six weeks.

A Brazilian website reported yesterday that Tom Brady's girlfriend Gisele Bundchen may be pregnant and, if so, the Pats QB is the father.

I guess Brady's making his campaign for the NFL's 2007 MVP (Most Virile Player).

Wednesday, March 7, 2007


From the "you've gotta see it to believe it department" comes the following:

It's easy to spot Aaron Fotheringham spinning and hesitating atop the rim of a half-pipe before plunging into the mass of teenage boys zipping around the neighborhood skate park.

He's the one in the wheelchair, the one with the bright yellow helmet, the one who does the back flip that has made him an Internet celebrity.


As if we needed further proof the Dutch are fucked up, a gym in Heteren, Netherlands, just started offering naked workouts on Sundays. Of course, this offer to workout in the buff was not the boner-inducing spectacle it would have been had it aired on Cinemax late at night with buxom women drenched in sweat and breasts heaving. No, instead, it was populated by a bunch of old men looking to show each other their wrinkled balls.

A dozen middle-age and elderly men were game enough for a Dutch gym's invitation to work out nude. But they were vastly outnumbered by the dozens of journalists watching them lift, row and cycle in the buff.

Seriously, why?

Friday, March 2, 2007

I Bet He Still Lived With His Parents

A morbidly obese Chinese man was found dead after playing video games for a week straight during the Lunar New Year holiday.

The 330-pound man from Jinzhou, in Liaoning province, collapsed on Saturday,the last day of the holiday, after spending "almost all" of the seven-day break playing online games, the China Daily said, citing his parents.

Not to speak ill of the dead, but I'm sure when they found this guy it had to look like a scene from the movie Seven. Shit, this guy was commiting two of the Cardinal Sins: gluttony and sloth.

I like to play video games as much as the next guy, but come on, I can't sit there an play long enough to kill myself in the process. After about an hour I have to take a leak. Plus, like a normal person, I like to socialize occasionally and have sex.

Although, something tells me that if this guy weighed 330 pounds and played video games long enough to kill himself, he probably didn't have many friends and wasn't getting laid all that often.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

¡Yo quiero Taco Bell!

This is somewhat old news now, but I can't get enough! These rats basically took over a Taco Bell/KFC in Greenwich Village. There's a ton of videos on youtube, but this is my favorite with the narration by the 'locals'.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Twenty over 40

For those of us who can't write for shit, lists are our best friends. Not only are they easy to write, they are usually fun to read too. The following is a list that I have been kicking around in my head for quite sometime. It all started a few years ago when my roomate and I were flipping through the channels and stopped in our tracks because we came across Kelly Preston in What A Girl Wants. We ended up watching more of the movie than I'll ever feel comfortable admitting (All of it. Multiple times.) Although, in my defense, Amanda Bynes is the star of the movie and she's pretty hot.

That being said, I present to you Twenty Hot Female Celebrities Over 40.

And the winner is....

20. Paula Zahn - Smart chicks in the know are sexy.

19. Lisa Rinna - Posed naked for Playboy while pregnant in the late 90's. Kinda freaked me out.

18. Elle Macpherson - We go all the way back to 1988. It was my first swimsuit issue.

17. Gina Gershon - She seems a little freaky. That's cool.

16. Diane Lane - The bathtub scene in Unfaithful was awesome.

15. Daryl Hannah - Even with an eye patch, she's still hot.

14. Demi Moore - Ok, so maybe Ashton knows what's up.

13. Cindy Crawford - The patron saint of hot women over 40.

12. Michelle Pfiffer - So hot as Catwoman.

11. Cheryl Hines - In real life, there's no way she'd be with Larry David.

10. Heather Locklear - She's probably got a ton of creepy-crawlies after sleeping with Vince Neil.

9. Vanessa Williams - She's been consistently hot since the mid-80's. Quite an achievement.

8. Mary-Louise Parker - One of the hottest drug dealers around.

7. Marisa Tomei - You don't really see all that much of her anymore. What a shame.

6. Courtney Cox - The best looking Friend, by far.

5. Kelly Preston - Sure she's a crazy Scientologist but, really, who cares?

4. Halle Berry - I had no idea she was over 40 until I started compiling this list.

3. Monica Belluci - The best part of The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions.

2. Famke Jannsen - Two words: Xenia Onatopp.

1. Salma Hayek - ¡Muy caliente!

Special thanks to - that's where I lifted the majority of these pictues.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

And away we go...

This here is the first post of a brand new blog known as asleep at the trigger.

The three of us - mediapossum, mdferreira and Lord Davis - have no idea what shape this blog will take. What we do know is that we will write about whatever we feel like writing about. We are men of many interests. As a result, this blog will reflect these myriad interests. If we feel like discussing sports, we'll discuss sports. If we want to write about how bat-shit crazy Brittany Spears is, well, than that's what we'll be writing about. Expect it all.

This is not a sports blog.

This is not a music blog.

This is an everything blog. The main goal here is to be entertaining. Entertaining and funny. You know, the complete opposite of Dane Cook.

We hope that you'll keep coming back to check us out. If you have any suggestions/criticisms, we encourage you to leave comments. Till next time...